I have to tell you, returning to this blog is hard.  It stirs up such emotion, fears and anxiety.  Emotion in recalling the past, fears of what I may face in the future and anxiety in trying to control the uncontrollable.

So with that said, what do you do with all that "stuff" in your head.

I have tried every thing I could to deal with the stress and fears of living with Crohn's disease.

• Denial - only lasts so long when you gut hurts
• Anger - keeps coming back no matter how I work on it
• Stifling - probably what makes my gut hurt more
• Isolation - the pity party that says "nobody understands"
• Negotiating - trying to find someone who cares and can give me hope.  "God please let me get well and I will ________(fill in the blank) or I will do yoga three times a week, not take out my frustration on my loved ones if only _______ (fill in the blank)
• Acceptance - well it's really more like resignation that this is my reality after dealing with it for 25+ years.  And I am still here!
• Hoping for Hope - searching for a new medication, trial, doctor, break through, anything
• Hope - being well enough to think and function again

 And the cycle starts over and over again.



Sound familiar?

So, I am now starting a phase of Hope - Yeah for me.  The brain fog is lifting; my anemia/blood work is back to normal; my muscle fatigue doesn't show up until 15-30 minutes after doing housework; and lots and lots of rest.

Okay, okay, so I am a work in progress.....

Next post - I am hopeful about an acupressure technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Therapy.
Sounds good doesn't it!